Having enjoyed a little blogging break to recharge the batteries and prepare for the new season ahead, It’s time to get back in the saddle. My last blog ‘Field of Dreams’ created a lot of positive feedback with many actually asking where this club was from and how could they visit!! Unfortunately this was my vision and dream for how it could be. Don’t get me wrong, my own club is very much following this path but we still have some distance to travel.
As my footnote in the previous blog suggested I would cover what would get in the way of fulfilling this dream. So, after only four matches into the new season there has been plenty to reinforce the Egoic Dream Killers who abound our clubs.
The feeling of losing a game/cup final/goal is just the ego telling you that it is in charge. Does that ‘oh so important win’ really matter? Is your meaning and purpose tied to an external event that you have no influence over? The ego is constantly running your life by telling you that you need MORE. More wins, more plastic cups, more success. So what happens when all this winning and success stops (and it will) and you are still tied to that same ego? Depression/feelings of helplessness and inadequacy. Unless you have a bigger purpose and meaning in your life then you are wide open to these egoic influences.
If you really identify yourself with wins and losses then you are always at the behest of your ego. Only when you start to quieten that egoic voice and reduce the impact of your ego by having a higher purpose will you start to enter a new plane of wisdom and understanding. Only then will you start to understand how many problems that the ego is causing you. This will start a transition from having a selfish outer purpose (wins/trophies etc) to an inner purpose where you begin to understand that the most important thing is to realise what that purpose is.
So how do we tell if the ego is in charge and driving the bus? Easy, just test it out. Watch a game and just observe the actions from the coaches and parents at the side of the park. If you are witnessing lots of stress, anger, complaining, fear, blame or other negative reactions then you are seeing the manifestations of all these ego’s together. This is self-fulfilling as you will see the ‘enemies’ being created in the opposition players/coaches and/or the referee. As all ego’s battle it out, they continually reinforce each other to make the ego’s stronger. They reach a crescendo and the problems have now become massive as all the ego’s involved fight for superiority (This is what the ego does!). The ego causes separateness in people as we move apart. This is now the opposite direction in which we should be moving if we want to work together to get better. We need to be inclusive rather than this exclusive behaviour.
The bottom line (and I know this is extremely difficult) is we have to move away from “my team” (exclusive) to “our game” (inclusive). We (individually and collectively), need to call out the ego and replace it with an inner purpose where we are still and calm and can then work together for the betterment of our game as a whole. Yes, of course I am called an idealist but only when we move from independence to inter-dependence will see progress, and ultimately results.
So all you Egoic Dream Killers who try to bring us down, remember we are in this for the long haul and not the short term plastic trophies you so crave. I will work collaboratively with this constant message that the ego does us no favours but achieving a higher purpose does. My larger purpose is to keep this dream alive for the good of the game.